To everyone who is having a hard time in their life.

 

“At this point in my life, all I care about is that I have to go up. There is no time left for me to have a breakdown, or for me to be weak. I have faced this bullshit before, and I need to get my shit together and face this shit with double the power than before. Because God gave me the problems before that had a positive effect on me and he is giving those to me again because I need to focus my energy on something else, something greater. He is just reminding me that my real happiness lies somewhere else.”

So sweetie, get yourself together cause you have absolutely no time to be with or burden your heart with thoughts of people who suck the life out of you. You pay no attention to them and show them what you’re made of by your hard work and determination. That’s who you are sweetheart. You are not someone who hurts someone’s feelings to look super cool, (because apparently that’s the only thing they’re good at.) Nor someone who leaves you hanging only because they think they’ve found someone better than you, only to get their heart broken and coming back to you? Babe, You’re amazing. You’re someone who wants to be happy, and spread happiness, that’s what your personality is. That’s what your life is supposed to be!

You have to achieve the greater things in life, and thinking about small minded people would only get you down, a place where they deserve to be, not you. And if you give them enough importance to ruin your day (or life), that only means that you think highly of them, and that would obviously make them feel important and confident enough to ruin your smile, your happiness.

You were created because you matter. You were created because God had a plan for you. You were created because God wanted to change someone’s life by your existence. If anything, don’t insult God’s plan by thinking how unnecessary and unworthy you are. Because baby that’s not true, God created you because he wanted you to be in this world, either because you have a purpose in your life, or someone else’s life. There is something in you that the world desperately needs! You are one of the reasons this world exists. And love, you deserve the world for the heart of gold you have, and for the efforts you make for people to be comfortable and happy!

 

You’re the sun, Spread your light and make this world a better place to live!

Love,

Fiya!

 

 

 

 

 

Today is my friend’s birthday, but…

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Today is my friend’s 18th birthday.

I did attend her surprise birthday party and gave her a nice gift, wished her on time and put on an obligatory birthday wish status and display picture with her to tell her how much she means to me. But as I was typing a long birthday wish for her, I had a flashback of the moments we have spent together in college and the only thing that came in my mind was a bitter comment made by her about me in front of everyone, including me. The memory of that day and that moment was still alive, hemmed in some corner of my brain, now dancing shamelessly like a harlot in front of my eyes, reminding me of the day my soul was torn apart from my body.

It wasn’t a bad comment on my character, it was on my personality. The reason it pierced my heart so much was because I have heard that comment before, from someone else, someone who claimed to be my best friend. And even though we are still in contact whenever I think about her the first thing that comes in my mind is the same comment. And I’d be lying if I say that it doesn’t hurt me. Because it does. It certainly does. And we all know that physical wounds can be healed but emotional wounds cannot. The pain of that comment will always stay in my heart and even if that (the birthday girl) was incredibly sweet and helpful to me in past, even though she apologized a lot for that comment later on and even though I have forgiven her, the first memory that comes of her in my mind will always be that same comment.

Please, never think for a moment that your words don’t have any effect on others.  Bitter words hurt more than the peeling of skin from our body with the help of a knife, more than the pain of a completely broken nail from our skin. And even if you think someone is not as good as you please keep it to yourself and don’t say that on their face. Because there is a 99% chance he already knows that, and secretly he is just trying to change that. Think from your heart before you speak, keep yourself in his place and think how would you feel if you were him and someone said the same to you? You would never forgive him/her. It takes a trillion compliments to build someone’s personality and your one harsh comment can take it all down, or worse, just kill him from inside.

Spread peace, love and kindness!

Love,

Fiya.

Laila

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★Laila:
With each swirl of the swing,she laughs and cries. The color of her cheeks turning from pale yellow to red. And far away stands a woman begging at a mosque for a child. Laila laughs and cries at the same time, hiding the sad betrayal in her eyes. Oh such a lovely girl she is, they say. But who knows the tragedy that made her live a life in orphanage. Her father did not want her, her grandparents despised her, her mother never saw her. Oh such a sad girl, they say. Laughing and crying at the same time, abandoned by her father for being his 13th daughter, left alone in this huge world for being a less powerful human, dumped by daddy, cared by none!

And far away a woman cries in the mosque, praying everyday for a child.

Dear world.

Hi, I am Fiya. And I am absolutely done with people. I’m literally done with people.

You think you own the world? You think you own that person standing in front of you? You think you can make fun of that person whenever you want? Well, guess what. You can. Why? Because God probably loves you and not that person, that’s why he’s letting this happen to him.

What? Did I say anything wrong? Oops! My bad, but probably nothing bad is going to happen to me. Why? Because God loves me and not you. Yep.

What?

Dear world,

The purpose of this post is to remind you all that you don’t own anyone, you don’t own a country, you don’t decide how the person is going to feel about a certain thing. No one is anyone’s slave. This is a free world. You don’t decide about who’s God’s favorite. You don’t decide which religion, which country, which particular community or person is God’s favorite. What if you— the one who thinks God totally adores you, are the least particular favorite of God and that person you just insulted is God’s top favorite but you don’t know it?

I am screaming virtually, begging you. Please, stop judging, stop assuming that you rule, be submissive to God, be forgiving.
Make this world a better place, don’t fill this beautiful world with your ill will. We don’t need your bitterness. We don’t need your insolence, we don’t need any slandering. We don’t need any more misery or troubles in our lives.

Stop taunting that girl about her looks because its fuckin hurting her!

Stop favoring that particular child of yours over other because it’s killing the other one’s self confidence!

Stop assuming that no one is better than you, because one day you are going to be proved wrong. Your pride will be shattered into tiny pieces.

Stop destroying that beautiful country where you were born, who fed you, where you find peace, which is your identity. For God’s sake, It is your home!

Stop, just stop insulting that guy over his dumbness. God made him dumb, he cannot help it! Please!

Stop ruining that girl’s life just because you hate her. She deserves peace in her life after what you did to her.

Stop assuming you are the nicest person in this world. Because that’s what you are not!

What you are doing to that person can happen to you tomorrow! Karma is a real bitch, don’t mess with it, because you can’t rule over KARMA. You just cant.

Sincerely,

Pretty disappointed,

Fiya.

That dream.

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I gave birth to the idea of that dream, composed it, nurtured it and fed it like a baby. I fashioned it. I was the one who spent her days and nights aiding the growth of that dream. I was really hopeful. I loved it, I cherished it and I protected it from everything and everyone. I actually lived for that dream. I became too ambitious, my work drive became too much for me to handle but I did not let it go. I dedicated my body, my soul, my mind and my heart to that only dream.

 I had a blind trust on Universe but one day, it decided to betray me.I still held onto my dream, clutching it in my pure heart, through the bitter storms and crushing earthquakes, through awful thundering and crazy snowfalls, through horrible cyclones and hot and disastrous volcanic eruptions. As a result, I got grubby, I got muddy, I got crushed into bits and pieces, I got electrified, I got numb with cold, I got muddled… I got burnt! but I was sure that my dream is out of any harm,  it’s in my heart, safe and secure and I am going to nourish it more and accomplish it one day.

 I was so close to my dream. I was so sure that it is safe in my heart and in the depth of my soul. I touched my heart and felt it there, my lovely dream. A feeling of joy passed through my burnt veins. It is there! I cried. I pulled it out, slowly and affectionately… I stared at it, horrified. My hands started trembling and my eyes grew wider in shock.

 It was broken, it was ruined! My dream was broken. The dream that meant everything to me. I raised my dream to sky in an act of asking the universe to justify its act, and in a result the sky showered rain, melting my dream and letting it seep into the ground, a harsh slap from the universe for relying on it.

I sat down on my knees and rubbed my hand slightly over the soil, smoothing the part which had my dream buried in it. I shouted, I screamed, I cried. It did not lessen my pain. It did not help me to forgive myself!

………..sighs, guess I’ll never be able to trust myself again

……Guess I’ll never be able to dream again……

 

 

 

 

Day 2: 100 good deeds Challenge

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Day 2:
Dear God,
Thank you for keeping me alive and healthy and for making me a happy and carefree person. Thank you for giving me a lovely day and bestowing upon me the five senses of seeing, hearing, tasting, touching and smelling through which I can live life to the fullest on this glorious day.
I therefore feel that it is my duty to be good to your creations like you do well to me and my family.
My six good deeds of today are as follows:

6. Donated a very small part of my pocket money to charity (Sahara foundation!)

7. Spoke truth when I didn’t wanted to (This one was the hardest 😦 )

8. Donated old school books to a poor kid (Education is everyone’s right!)

9. Held a door for an old lady who was holding heavy bags (Got a bright smile and a sweet ‘Thank you, May God bless you!’ as my reward from her!)

10. Helped a friend to prepare chocolate mousse (Yummmm!)

11. While standing in the line after buying some grocery items, I let the person behind me (who was holding only a cola) come in front of me to save her time.

12. Told an aunt that she looks 10 years younger than her age (I wasn’t lying by the way) and made her day!

Kindness never goes wasted.
What if any of your good deed makes God so happy that he decides to bless you with whatever you had been wishing for so long?
Take a chance,do a good deed every day!

Love,

Fiya.

The scars remain.

“Who am I now that I’m alone with no one to reflect an image of myself that I can re-shape and perfect?”

It was midnight, the moonlight was shining on her woebegone face, the sky was as black as her African dog. She could hear the noises of what superstitious people call ‘Ghosts’ while the ‘Logical’ people call them ‘Imagination of the mad’. She looked at the sky and it seemed that it is screaming in melancholy at her. The stars were twinkling and blazing like they’re newly born. She stared at the stars and wondered if they’re also laughing at her dark, gloomy, miserable life. She whispered to herself “There’s no life left, there is no spark left”. Crestfallen, She placed her beautiful hand over her chest and began to feel her heartbeat which in turn was slow and feeble.

“I dont have feelings left, i don’t have life left inside myself. What is left now? except this grief-stricken soul which is about to go back to the mysterious, unknown and secret world from where it came” She held the blade tightly in her hand and had a flashback of all the bitter, vitriolic memories. Why does it all had to happen with her? What was her sin? This shouldn’t have happened.She had to pay the price of a crime that she did not even commit. Her heart was aching and she could hear her last unfortunate breathes. It was the end, end of the endless pain that she had to feel everyday, end of the deadly remarks people passed over her everyday, end of the judgement that she had to go through everyday, end of her life, end of the torture,end of the battle, end of struggles, the fights,and end of the greatest gift that the Almighty God has bestowed upon us―LIFE.It was the end of her life.

“Before THEY kill me, I myself should put an end to my own life. My vulnerable soul should depart from this filthy world by my own frail hands.”

“I was destined to doom”