Today is my friend’s birthday, but…

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Today is my friend’s 18th birthday.

I did attend her surprise birthday party and gave her a nice gift, wished her on time and put on an obligatory birthday wish status and display picture with her to tell her how much she means to me. But as I was typing a long birthday wish for her, I had a flashback of the moments we have spent together in college and the only thing that came in my mind was a bitter comment made by her about me in front of everyone, including me. The memory of that day and that moment was still alive, hemmed in some corner of my brain, now dancing shamelessly like a harlot in front of my eyes, reminding me of the day my soul was torn apart from my body.

It wasn’t a bad comment on my character, it was on my personality. The reason it pierced my heart so much was because I have heard that comment before, from someone else, someone who claimed to be my best friend. And even though we are still in contact whenever I think about her the first thing that comes in my mind is the same comment. And I’d be lying if I say that it doesn’t hurt me. Because it does. It certainly does. And we all know that physical wounds can be healed but emotional wounds cannot. The pain of that comment will always stay in my heart and even if that (the birthday girl) was incredibly sweet and helpful to me in past, even though she apologized a lot for that comment later on and even though I have forgiven her, the first memory that comes of her in my mind will always be that same comment.

Please, never think for a moment that your words don’t have any effect on others.  Bitter words hurt more than the peeling of skin from our body with the help of a knife, more than the pain of a completely broken nail from our skin. And even if you think someone is not as good as you please keep it to yourself and don’t say that on their face. Because there is a 99% chance he already knows that, and secretly he is just trying to change that. Think from your heart before you speak, keep yourself in his place and think how would you feel if you were him and someone said the same to you? You would never forgive him/her. It takes a trillion compliments to build someone’s personality and your one harsh comment can take it all down, or worse, just kill him from inside.

Spread peace, love and kindness!

Love,

Fiya.

Behind the veil. PART 1

Image credits: Lita cabellut

Image credits: Lita cabellut

She was born in a strictly religious family and raised up by her very Islamic grandparents who named her Meher which means “Friendship, love and sun”  in Persian, “Blessing” in Arabic and “gifted and talented” in Punjabi. They named her Meher because they considered her a blessing. A blessing bestowed upon them after so many years of yearning for her from Allah, after so many seasons of shedding tears in prayers, after so many decades of kneeling down before Allah in prostration. She was their biggest desire; she was the wish that came true. She was the shining star of their eyes, the most noble and chaste, the modest and most right minded girl in the family, a reward from Allah for being patient and submissive to him.

A reward

A reward that brought shame to family

A reward who ran away

They trusted her most in the family as she never missed any single prayer, recited Quran daily and covered herself in front of “Na Mehrams”.Of course anyone would believe her to be trustworthy, to be pious and chaste, which she was. But then there was iblees, the damned one. Always present around us, waiting for us to be misguided by him, waiting for us to go off track, to go astray.
And ofcourse there is Allah, our creator, our lord, Al Rehman (the compassionate), Al Raheem (the merciful), Maalik-ul-Qudoos (the absolute ruler, the pure one) Al Hakim, (the judge) Al Haadi (the guide)… ALLAH. who wants to get us tested, who wants to know how much have we learned from Quran, from Ahadees or from offering prayers five times a day, or from covering ourselves or from guiding our hearts and our eyes and our bodies from evil and from Haram?

A reward who ran away.

Arslan was a neighbor who had always seen her go outside with her veil on. He saw her the very first time in her balcony with a beautiful red headscarf on, talking politely to someone downstairs in her lawn, she didn’t know someone is watching her face, admiring her beauty. As soon as she turned her face and had an eye contact with him, she turned her face, covered it and went inside her room whereas he spent the next day planning on how to talk to her because her beauty and charm had worked her spell on him.

 

The scars remain.

“Who am I now that I’m alone with no one to reflect an image of myself that I can re-shape and perfect?”

It was midnight, the moonlight was shining on her woebegone face, the sky was as black as her African dog. She could hear the noises of what superstitious people call ‘Ghosts’ while the ‘Logical’ people call them ‘Imagination of the mad’. She looked at the sky and it seemed that it is screaming in melancholy at her. The stars were twinkling and blazing like they’re newly born. She stared at the stars and wondered if they’re also laughing at her dark, gloomy, miserable life. She whispered to herself “There’s no life left, there is no spark left”. Crestfallen, She placed her beautiful hand over her chest and began to feel her heartbeat which in turn was slow and feeble.

“I dont have feelings left, i don’t have life left inside myself. What is left now? except this grief-stricken soul which is about to go back to the mysterious, unknown and secret world from where it came” She held the blade tightly in her hand and had a flashback of all the bitter, vitriolic memories. Why does it all had to happen with her? What was her sin? This shouldn’t have happened.She had to pay the price of a crime that she did not even commit. Her heart was aching and she could hear her last unfortunate breathes. It was the end, end of the endless pain that she had to feel everyday, end of the deadly remarks people passed over her everyday, end of the judgement that she had to go through everyday, end of her life, end of the torture,end of the battle, end of struggles, the fights,and end of the greatest gift that the Almighty God has bestowed upon us―LIFE.It was the end of her life.

“Before THEY kill me, I myself should put an end to my own life. My vulnerable soul should depart from this filthy world by my own frail hands.”

“I was destined to doom”