Today is my friend’s birthday, but…

download

Today is my friend’s 18th birthday.

I did attend her surprise birthday party and gave her a nice gift, wished her on time and put on an obligatory birthday wish status and display picture with her to tell her how much she means to me. But as I was typing a long birthday wish for her, I had a flashback of the moments we have spent together in college and the only thing that came in my mind was a bitter comment made by her about me in front of everyone, including me. The memory of that day and that moment was still alive, hemmed in some corner of my brain, now dancing shamelessly like a harlot in front of my eyes, reminding me of the day my soul was torn apart from my body.

It wasn’t a bad comment on my character, it was on my personality. The reason it pierced my heart so much was because I have heard that comment before, from someone else, someone who claimed to be my best friend. And even though we are still in contact whenever I think about her the first thing that comes in my mind is the same comment. And I’d be lying if I say that it doesn’t hurt me. Because it does. It certainly does. And we all know that physical wounds can be healed but emotional wounds cannot. The pain of that comment will always stay in my heart and even if that (the birthday girl) was incredibly sweet and helpful to me in past, even though she apologized a lot for that comment later on and even though I have forgiven her, the first memory that comes of her in my mind will always be that same comment.

Please, never think for a moment that your words don’t have any effect on others.  Bitter words hurt more than the peeling of skin from our body with the help of a knife, more than the pain of a completely broken nail from our skin. And even if you think someone is not as good as you please keep it to yourself and don’t say that on their face. Because there is a 99% chance he already knows that, and secretly he is just trying to change that. Think from your heart before you speak, keep yourself in his place and think how would you feel if you were him and someone said the same to you? You would never forgive him/her. It takes a trillion compliments to build someone’s personality and your one harsh comment can take it all down, or worse, just kill him from inside.

Spread peace, love and kindness!

Love,

Fiya.

Laila

d7efbcaa4b0d616e3f789f8dc93ceca2
★Laila:
With each swirl of the swing,she laughs and cries. The color of her cheeks turning from pale yellow to red. And far away stands a woman begging at a mosque for a child. Laila laughs and cries at the same time, hiding the sad betrayal in her eyes. Oh such a lovely girl she is, they say. But who knows the tragedy that made her live a life in orphanage. Her father did not want her, her grandparents despised her, her mother never saw her. Oh such a sad girl, they say. Laughing and crying at the same time, abandoned by her father for being his 13th daughter, left alone in this huge world for being a less powerful human, dumped by daddy, cared by none!

And far away a woman cries in the mosque, praying everyday for a child.

That dream.

large (10)

 

I gave birth to the idea of that dream, composed it, nurtured it and fed it like a baby. I fashioned it. I was the one who spent her days and nights aiding the growth of that dream. I was really hopeful. I loved it, I cherished it and I protected it from everything and everyone. I actually lived for that dream. I became too ambitious, my work drive became too much for me to handle but I did not let it go. I dedicated my body, my soul, my mind and my heart to that only dream.

 I had a blind trust on Universe but one day, it decided to betray me.I still held onto my dream, clutching it in my pure heart, through the bitter storms and crushing earthquakes, through awful thundering and crazy snowfalls, through horrible cyclones and hot and disastrous volcanic eruptions. As a result, I got grubby, I got muddy, I got crushed into bits and pieces, I got electrified, I got numb with cold, I got muddled… I got burnt! but I was sure that my dream is out of any harm,  it’s in my heart, safe and secure and I am going to nourish it more and accomplish it one day.

 I was so close to my dream. I was so sure that it is safe in my heart and in the depth of my soul. I touched my heart and felt it there, my lovely dream. A feeling of joy passed through my burnt veins. It is there! I cried. I pulled it out, slowly and affectionately… I stared at it, horrified. My hands started trembling and my eyes grew wider in shock.

 It was broken, it was ruined! My dream was broken. The dream that meant everything to me. I raised my dream to sky in an act of asking the universe to justify its act, and in a result the sky showered rain, melting my dream and letting it seep into the ground, a harsh slap from the universe for relying on it.

I sat down on my knees and rubbed my hand slightly over the soil, smoothing the part which had my dream buried in it. I shouted, I screamed, I cried. It did not lessen my pain. It did not help me to forgive myself!

………..sighs, guess I’ll never be able to trust myself again

……Guess I’ll never be able to dream again……

 

 

 

 

I’m learning French!

bonjour-cute-french-leopard-moustache-Favim.com-185224
I’m learning a new language!

Well, actually I’m trying to learn French, a language that I’m sure I don’t need to learn because I don’t think my life will ever take me to France or any African country where I’d have to use it. But well, I LOVE travelling and exploring different cultures so you never know. Maybe one day God would have mercy on me and take me to all those places that I really really really want to go.

sighs
I wish.

Well, For today, I learnt eleven phrases.

  1. Bonjour— Hello!
  2. Mon prenom est Fiya— My name is Fiya
  3. Comment allez-vous?— How are you?
  4. Je suis tres bien— I’m fine
  5. Je t’aime— I love you
  6. Mademoiselle— Miss!
  7. Comment s’appelle ton pere?— What is your father’s name?
  8. Mon pere s’appelle S.S.M— My father’s name is S.S.M
  9. Je suis perdu— I am lost
  10. Aidez-moi!— help me!
  11. Au Revoir!— Goodbye!

I’m so excited to learn more. When I learn something it makes me feel so useful and valuable. It makes me feel that I’m not totally wasting my life doing nothing and that I’m turning myself into a prized possession. I love learning and expanding my knowledge. For me, learning is a necessary exercise for my brain and I want my brain to be in action 24/7.

I really want to share a power boosting quote with you guys, I’m not really sure who said it but the internet says Mahatma Gandhi said it so I’m giving credits to him.

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”
-Mahatma Gandhi.


Au Revoir!

Fiya.

Struggles of a young blogger

large (3)
My basic struggle as a young blogger is the language barrier. English is my third language, the first two being Urdu and Punjabi. I usually have a lot of ideas and expressions in my mind but as cool and amusing they sound in Urdu, when I convert them into English they seem absurd and boring.

My second struggle or fear—whatever you call it, is that I’m afraid to get judged. I mean, I’ve a lot to say on my mind but I dare not transform them into words, fearing that I will be labeled as ‘young ungrateful narcissist B****’

My third struggle is writing to please my audience. I think twice about posting stuff on wordpress because I’m afraid no one would appreciate my work and reject me. But Getting rejected is everyone’s greatest fear, isn’t it?

I’m currently trying to confront my fears and sparing no effort to make sense of my words. I hope that I succeed in it.

I love it how people on Word press tell me that I don’t seem to be so young, I’m like that since forever. My grandpa says I have a 50 year old head on my 17 years old shoulder.
Really Grandpa? Am I as smart as a 50 year old? Well, Nevermind.
But Oh, don’t underestimate me; I’m still as cool as a cucumber 😉

With this post, I continue my journey as a young blogger.

Rawr!
Fiya.

Day 2: 100 good deeds Challenge

default

Day 2:
Dear God,
Thank you for keeping me alive and healthy and for making me a happy and carefree person. Thank you for giving me a lovely day and bestowing upon me the five senses of seeing, hearing, tasting, touching and smelling through which I can live life to the fullest on this glorious day.
I therefore feel that it is my duty to be good to your creations like you do well to me and my family.
My six good deeds of today are as follows:

6. Donated a very small part of my pocket money to charity (Sahara foundation!)

7. Spoke truth when I didn’t wanted to (This one was the hardest 😦 )

8. Donated old school books to a poor kid (Education is everyone’s right!)

9. Held a door for an old lady who was holding heavy bags (Got a bright smile and a sweet ‘Thank you, May God bless you!’ as my reward from her!)

10. Helped a friend to prepare chocolate mousse (Yummmm!)

11. While standing in the line after buying some grocery items, I let the person behind me (who was holding only a cola) come in front of me to save her time.

12. Told an aunt that she looks 10 years younger than her age (I wasn’t lying by the way) and made her day!

Kindness never goes wasted.
What if any of your good deed makes God so happy that he decides to bless you with whatever you had been wishing for so long?
Take a chance,do a good deed every day!

Love,

Fiya.