Today is my friend’s birthday, but…

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Today is my friend’s 18th birthday.

I did attend her surprise birthday party and gave her a nice gift, wished her on time and put on an obligatory birthday wish status and display picture with her to tell her how much she means to me. But as I was typing a long birthday wish for her, I had a flashback of the moments we have spent together in college and the only thing that came in my mind was a bitter comment made by her about me in front of everyone, including me. The memory of that day and that moment was still alive, hemmed in some corner of my brain, now dancing shamelessly like a harlot in front of my eyes, reminding me of the day my soul was torn apart from my body.

It wasn’t a bad comment on my character, it was on my personality. The reason it pierced my heart so much was because I have heard that comment before, from someone else, someone who claimed to be my best friend. And even though we are still in contact whenever I think about her the first thing that comes in my mind is the same comment. And I’d be lying if I say that it doesn’t hurt me. Because it does. It certainly does. And we all know that physical wounds can be healed but emotional wounds cannot. The pain of that comment will always stay in my heart and even if that (the birthday girl) was incredibly sweet and helpful to me in past, even though she apologized a lot for that comment later on and even though I have forgiven her, the first memory that comes of her in my mind will always be that same comment.

Please, never think for a moment that your words don’t have any effect on others.  Bitter words hurt more than the peeling of skin from our body with the help of a knife, more than the pain of a completely broken nail from our skin. And even if you think someone is not as good as you please keep it to yourself and don’t say that on their face. Because there is a 99% chance he already knows that, and secretly he is just trying to change that. Think from your heart before you speak, keep yourself in his place and think how would you feel if you were him and someone said the same to you? You would never forgive him/her. It takes a trillion compliments to build someone’s personality and your one harsh comment can take it all down, or worse, just kill him from inside.

Spread peace, love and kindness!

Love,

Fiya.

Laila

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★Laila:
With each swirl of the swing,she laughs and cries. The color of her cheeks turning from pale yellow to red. And far away stands a woman begging at a mosque for a child. Laila laughs and cries at the same time, hiding the sad betrayal in her eyes. Oh such a lovely girl she is, they say. But who knows the tragedy that made her live a life in orphanage. Her father did not want her, her grandparents despised her, her mother never saw her. Oh such a sad girl, they say. Laughing and crying at the same time, abandoned by her father for being his 13th daughter, left alone in this huge world for being a less powerful human, dumped by daddy, cared by none!

And far away a woman cries in the mosque, praying everyday for a child.

My review on the novel “The museum of innocence”- By Orhan Pamuk.

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Summary:
Kemal Bey, a thirty something old is living the absolute perfect life. He also has a fiancée, Sibel, A stylish and charming young lady who is the daughter of another wealthy family. But life takes a turn and he meets his really poor distant relative, Fusun, who is 12 years younger than him and he without a doubt, falls in love with her.

For the dignity of my blog, I shall not post how he falls in love with her.

But anyhow he decides to get officially engaged to Sibel and also invites Fusun on his engagement party. The story takes a turn and Fusun is nowhere to be found. He becomes a lovesick crackhead. Sibel, being the good girl that she was, helps Kemal emotionally but alas! ends up breaking up with him for good. After some months Kemal finds Fusun and spends the eight years of his life ‘sitting’ every day or so with Fusun and her family and collecting i.e stealing little things related to Fusun, while showering her with gifts and also helping her family financially.
The story takes a very auspicious turn and Kemal and Fusun decide to get married. All is going well until a calamity befalls them, shattering Kemal’s dreams and destroying his life, for ever.
The novel ends with Kemal Bey, dreamily advising Orhan Pamuk to

‘Let everyone know he lived a very happy life’

My review:
In the start, the story was so intense and interesting but suddenly Orhan Pamuk decided to get advantage of this interest and lengthened the story. I felt like it is never going to end. I had to concentrate on every word to understand that he is describing the same feelings of Kemal Bey, just in different words, in a different manner. I was sick of it so I left like 4-5 chapters dedicated to Kemal’s oh so sad feelings.
Secondly, I’m one hundred and one percent sure Fusun was not in love with Kemal, she was just using him for his money and was helped by her mother to do so. I, usually do not hate characters but I cant stop hating Fusun for silently ruining Kemal and using his money. And what kind of guy was Kemal? He did not care the least bit about his widowed mother, in fact he spent more time with Fusun’s mother (who loved him as a son for his money) than his own. In the last 5-6 chapters Fusun accepts indirectly that she was putting up with Kemal because of his money.

Sad, very sad.

No, I’m not sad for Kemal, I’m sad for myself because I actually wasted one entire week on this novel. I’m very sorry to say, Dear Orhan Pamuk, that I’m disappointed. I never really criticize someone’s work like this but you annoyed the hell out of me by the help of this novel!

Dear readers,
To be very blunt and honest, this novel is not worth your time. I’d rather drink muddy water, pet a lizard and do Maths than to read it ever again.

All my love,

Fiya.

His beloved (a short story)

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Joe walked down the stairs in a hurry, his vision blurring and causing him to miss two steps at a time. He was already late. He had to look at Jade one more time, or maybe last time before she goes to take her class. Her class was just in two minutes. He could not let this opportunity pass, he had to have a glance at his sweetheart, bask in her smile and adore those big blue eyes with lashes so long one could see their shadow on her upper cheeks. Her lips firmly molded and her hair so long, smooth and silky, they reminded him of Arabian silk. Her sweet laugh could mend anyone’s broken heart and fix their torn soul. She was a lovely young beauty, full of life and glamour, a happy go lucky sort. He longed to hold her, to pinch her cheeks, touch her hair and be the cause of her smile. He loved her and he needed her, more than anything in this world. She was his life, without her it was impossible for him to survive.

His heart was thumping so hard he knew he could die at any tick of the clock. He ran in a hurry to the right block where her class was. He looked to the right, and then to the left. He felt like his heartbeat had stopped.
She was not there.

She was gone to her class. He wouldn’t be able to see her today, wouldn’t be able to rejoice in her lovely laugh and who knows about tomorrow? it isn’t promised. His jaw dropped. His eyes suddenly became red, filled with salty water of his emotions. His forehead became sweaty, his vision started blurring and his hands started trembling. Downhearted and low spirited, he raised his hands to himself as if praying to God and stared at his sweaty palms, trying to read the luck lines. He couldn’t believe on his bad luck when suddenly he heard echoes of laughter and two girls coming out of her class as if punished by the teacher.

It was her!

His darling, his angel, his sweet one. Laughing and high-fiving her friend, she stole a glance at Joe who was staring lovingly at her. Not knowing who he is, except that he was a school mate, she passed a confused smile at him. He laughed. How lucky he felt at that moment, She finally noticed him! She finally knew he existed on the last day of his existence.

On the last day of his existence

Even being so attractive that he stood out among his mates like a striking, magnificent jungle cat surrounded by harmless baby kittens, he decided not to propose her. Not because he was afraid to be rejected… but because he did not want to be accepted. He smiled at her, for one last time while she giggled with her friend, standing out of the class, completely unaware of the fact that this handsome young man standing right in front of him is madly in love with her, and also, that he is suffering from Brain cancer, a disease of which he was sure he is not going to survive because his doctors had already told him so. The cancer had spread, causing a severe headache, seizures and vision blurring. He came to school every day, just to catch a glimpse of her one more time, to listen to her laughter and to look at her and pray to God to give her all the happiness in the world, and to give him a chance to catch a sight of her,just one more time.

Just one more time

It was his last day on Earth, last day with her.

But the first day of his existence in the eyes of his beloved.