Today is my friend’s birthday, but…

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Today is my friend’s 18th birthday.

I did attend her surprise birthday party and gave her a nice gift, wished her on time and put on an obligatory birthday wish status and display picture with her to tell her how much she means to me. But as I was typing a long birthday wish for her, I had a flashback of the moments we have spent together in college and the only thing that came in my mind was a bitter comment made by her about me in front of everyone, including me. The memory of that day and that moment was still alive, hemmed in some corner of my brain, now dancing shamelessly like a harlot in front of my eyes, reminding me of the day my soul was torn apart from my body.

It wasn’t a bad comment on my character, it was on my personality. The reason it pierced my heart so much was because I have heard that comment before, from someone else, someone who claimed to be my best friend. And even though we are still in contact whenever I think about her the first thing that comes in my mind is the same comment. And I’d be lying if I say that it doesn’t hurt me. Because it does. It certainly does. And we all know that physical wounds can be healed but emotional wounds cannot. The pain of that comment will always stay in my heart and even if that (the birthday girl) was incredibly sweet and helpful to me in past, even though she apologized a lot for that comment later on and even though I have forgiven her, the first memory that comes of her in my mind will always be that same comment.

Please, never think for a moment that your words don’t have any effect on others.  Bitter words hurt more than the peeling of skin from our body with the help of a knife, more than the pain of a completely broken nail from our skin. And even if you think someone is not as good as you please keep it to yourself and don’t say that on their face. Because there is a 99% chance he already knows that, and secretly he is just trying to change that. Think from your heart before you speak, keep yourself in his place and think how would you feel if you were him and someone said the same to you? You would never forgive him/her. It takes a trillion compliments to build someone’s personality and your one harsh comment can take it all down, or worse, just kill him from inside.

Spread peace, love and kindness!

Love,

Fiya.

Day 2: 100 good deeds Challenge

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Day 2:
Dear God,
Thank you for keeping me alive and healthy and for making me a happy and carefree person. Thank you for giving me a lovely day and bestowing upon me the five senses of seeing, hearing, tasting, touching and smelling through which I can live life to the fullest on this glorious day.
I therefore feel that it is my duty to be good to your creations like you do well to me and my family.
My six good deeds of today are as follows:

6. Donated a very small part of my pocket money to charity (Sahara foundation!)

7. Spoke truth when I didn’t wanted to (This one was the hardest 😦 )

8. Donated old school books to a poor kid (Education is everyone’s right!)

9. Held a door for an old lady who was holding heavy bags (Got a bright smile and a sweet ‘Thank you, May God bless you!’ as my reward from her!)

10. Helped a friend to prepare chocolate mousse (Yummmm!)

11. While standing in the line after buying some grocery items, I let the person behind me (who was holding only a cola) come in front of me to save her time.

12. Told an aunt that she looks 10 years younger than her age (I wasn’t lying by the way) and made her day!

Kindness never goes wasted.
What if any of your good deed makes God so happy that he decides to bless you with whatever you had been wishing for so long?
Take a chance,do a good deed every day!

Love,

Fiya.

A letter to me..From me! :)

imagesFive years back, on my 12th birthday, I wrote a letter to myself. I promised myself to read that letter on my birthday every year for the next five years. As on 6th may,2014 five years were completed. I decided to read that letter for the last time, tear it apart and write a letter to my younger twelve year old self. Though this takes a lot of time, to think, to write. But it helped me to understand my self better, to know the difference between my life at age 12 and at 17! To know what I wanted to be, what I could’ve become and what I’ve actually become.

 

So here’s the summary of the old letter written five years back!

(I’m obviously going to cut the embarrassing parts, well there are a lot of them!!)

 (I WILL ALSO UPLOAD A PICTURE OF THAT EMBARASSING LETTER)

“Hello! When I’ll be 17 years old I’ll be beautiful and I’ll have bigger height. I will also have very long hair and I will dye my hair pink and red and green like avril lavigne and change my hair style. (my sister) will probably be married at that time. I will go to Kinnaird college and I will also learn to drive a car, to cook and I’ll also get all-rounder certificate again because that’s my favourite certificate. I will take first position every year and I’ll be the best daughter ever! My life will become so perfffffect. Everyone’s going to be happpyyyyyyyyyyy from me because I’ll be the best and i’ll do coolest things with my friends and i’ll have more freedom so i’ll be the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen!

 

PS: I WILL become better at maths!!!!!!!!!!”

 

A letter to twelve year old me:

 

Dear little Fiya,

You were twelve at that time, a cocoon who was not yet ready to become a butterfly, too young to know that whatever you wished wasn’t actually going to happen, that dreams like yours are just will-o’-the-wisps. They are fake, they are mere illusions! they are scams and trickeries. They lead you to believe in all kinds of useless, Sisyphean crap. You were too young to believe that people you called your friends were your secret enemies, they couldn’t see you happy. They never rejoiced in your happiness. Too young to consider that when you’ll be at the top your friends will be the one to kick the ladder and make you suffer the greatest fall of your life. But I’m proud of you. I’m proud of the choices you made. Proud of the fact that you never let anyone hurt your ego (except that one year  where you completely lost your mind-2013!) I’m proud of your old school results, of your accomplishments, your lifestyle back then, your habits, your personality, your traits, your aims… I’m proud to say this was me 5 years back!

You know, the people you thought are nice actually turned out to be idiots, the plans you thought actually turned out to be shitty. The world you wanted was nothing but a lie, A lie that your heart wanted to believe in. But on a positive note, Look how far you’ve come. You’re free from school now, you do have longer hair and a better height than before, you know the basics of cooking and driving and I feel stupid to say this but you did get an all-rounder certificate though you did not get first position ever again! LOL. You’ve beaten all the people who wanted to see you down. All your melancholies, all your agitations are left hidden in a cloud full of sullen, glum and sour memories and that hate filled cloud is so far away from you that no matter how much you try you’ll only reach it on doomsday. All your distresses and dismays have become ashes, abandoning your soul and moving to the sky, making you mature and giving you experience to deal with idiots so you could save yourself if someone tries to bring you down next time. There’s no more room for drama in your life. God has squished all the anguish inside even the tiniest bit of your cells and taken it away from you, forever.

How lucky I was to be so lively and to have such self-mastery at that time. I wish I could become you again, little fiya. I really wish.

From future to past,

Love,

 Fiya.

 

My review on the novel “Between sisters” By Kristin Hannah

Between-Sisters-9780345519467“Tender, funny, bittersweet, and wonderfully moving, Between Sisters celebrates the joys and heartaches that can only be shared by sisters, the mistakes made in the name of love and the healing power of new beginnings–-all beautifully told by acclaimed author Kristin Hannah”

 

My review:

The story starts with Meghan Dontess, a divorcee who doesn’t believe in love and promises. She is a hotshot divorce lawyer who sleeps with a new guy every night.  Her speech is harsh and her feelings cold. She has a little sister, Clair Cavenaugh who she raised up but one day their mother decided to abandon them for her career and Meghan was forced to call Claire Cavenaugh’s father and tell him he actually has a daughter. It was all good when one day, Meghan was forced to leave Claire. Claire ends up being a single mother of a cute five year old daughter and in love with a country singer with no promising future. Now the hardworking and responsible Meghan felt it her duty to save her little ‘baby’ sister from marrying someone as useless as Bobby , as well as to rejuvenate their own relationship.

 

First of all, When I read this novel I did not feel connected to either of the characters. Secondly, somewhere between, I was so bored with unnecessary details and events that I first decided I’m not even going to complete this. I sometimes felt extremism in characters. Meghan is too unsympathetic and unpleasant and Claire is too sugary and stupid. I hated the parts about Joe, a homeless looking man who (BINGO!!!) turned out to be the best surgeon in town!

 

Totally unrealistic, but with a verrrrrrrrryyy lovely twist at end which shows that everything what the eye perceives and everything what the mind conveys is not always true. Your appearances and past doesn’t matter. What matters is your present and how you act in the present time. And most importantly this novel conveys the message that the strong knot between sisters cannot be untied no matter how far apart they are. This novel had joys and tears, hate and love, suspense and drama

A cold start but a sweet end